How to Choose a Therapist

How do you choose a therapist?

That question can be complicated.

My answer to this question is this:

Choosing the right therapist for you is one of the important aspects to having a successful counseling experience.

For the way I practice, the therapist should be someone that feels comfortable and is trustworthy. Someone that can create a safe space that allows you to be open and honest. And someone who will listen wholeheartedly, confronts gently, and teaches new skills regularly. However, remember that the therapist is not there to be a friend. Sometimes in order to help facilitate your growth, they may say things that are hard or uncomfortable to hear. Understanding why you are seeking help, doing some research, having an initial conversation, and listening to your gut will all be helpful in making your decision.

What should I consider when choosing a counselor?

First of all, understand why you are seeking out a therapist. Considering these questions will assist you in understanding how someone can help you.

What physical symptoms are you experiencing? These will be different for someone who is struggling with substance abuse and someone who is experiencing depression.

What mental frustrations are you having? The mental issues will have different challenges for someone who is experiencing secondhand addiction and someone who is experiencing debilitating anxiety.

What is your emotional health like? Are you functional or are you struggling with everyday tasks?

What are the social issues that you are struggling with?

What is the problem that you want to solve? For example: substance use or abuse…secondhand addiction…depression…anxiety…chronic health issues…severe mental illness….

Second, you should think about the type of therapist that you want to accompany you on the journey. Just as in any profession, therapists come in many styles and personalities. In addition, therapists all have a theoretical orientation (Do you want to review every incident in your childhood or put that all in a box and figure out how to move forward? Two different orientations.)

Not all therapists will be a fit for you. (As I say so often, it’s like finding the right pair of shoes!).

In order to help you figure out the style and personality you are looking for, ask yourself the following questions and jot your answers down. This information will be important in the next step.

Am I looking for someone to solve the problem for me?

Someone to give me suggestions?

Someone to ask me questions to help me find my own answers?

Am I looking for someone who talks more or listens more?

Am I wanting to go back and solve all the problems of my childhood?

Do I want to resolve this one issue and move forward?

Am I looking for someone who considers themselves the expert or someone who considers me the expert?

Do I want someone who will include a religious or spiritual piece as a part of the therapy?

Is it important to me to have a therapist that does a lot of sharing of their own story? Has many years of experience? Is older or younger than I am? Male or female?

Third, do your research. Look at their websites. Look at their Psychology Today profiles. Call and speak to the therapist directly. In order to find a therapist with a good style and personality match for you, ask them questions that fit the answers to your questions from above. In addition, you find out the following about the therapist:

Their experience with the particular issues you want to address in therapy and how they help people resolve those issues. Do they have any specialized training that will be helpful?

How long they have been in practice, their fees, and whether or not they accept your insurance (if you want to use your insurance – many people don’t)

How they are licensed, whether or not they follow the ethical principles (especially related to boundaries, confidentiality, and dual relationships), and whether or not they have ever had any complaints filed with the state grievance board

Their appointment availability, length of appointments, how often they can meet with you, and how long they think the treatment process will take

Finally, you have to listen to your gut. So much of what happens in therapy is built on the relationship between the therapist and the client. If you don’t feel comfortable, it is probably not a good fit. To check your gut, ask yourself some questions.

Does it feel right when I am talking to this therapist?

Did the conversation flow easily?

Did the therapist answer all of my questions?

Did the therapist have any significant hesitations as I was asking questions?

Can I picture myself disclosing information to this person?

Your responses to these questions will give you some idea about the fit between you and this particular person. This information applies regardless of whether you are seeking a counselor for addiction issues, for depression, for in person therapy, or distance counseling.

Remember. Don’t be shy. Be your own advocate. You have the right to ask questions and feel comfortable with the responses. You are requesting and paying for this help in order to facilitate your personal growth and improve your life: make sure it is a good fit.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction or codependency issues, Contact me today to arrange a free, no-obligation consultation to talk about how we can work together or find the right person for you.